new posts will be written over there from now on.  an explanation is over there too. =)

all is well.  i’d love to have you continue to follow our adventures!

i guess i could do the calling and writing and bugging.  but i kinda don’t want to.  at this point, the trip home for the summer is gone and over which means i’ll be here for the time being anyway.  so whenever they call, i will heed.  let it be.

i have some other plans bubbling in my brain.  don’t worry.  i am never down for long.

today is Buddah’s birthday!  and i guess it’s as important as Jesus’ back home cuz everyone has a day off again, except your major chains.  it’s raining cats and dogs outside though, which is a bummer because that means i can’t get out and about to observe what is supposed to be done on a Buddah’s birthday.  do they not eat meat today?  do they do a lot of meditation?  do they have special rituals, or cakes or presents?   my parents think it probably has something to do with going to a buddhist temple, having a special service there and eating a special meal.  but i think they are guessing.  i do see special pretty lanterns hung everywhere on the street though.  back home in hawaii they were only hung at the korean buddhist temples.

 but until next year, the rest of it shall have to remain a mystery to me.

actually, if it weren’t for the summer months and a promise to jun to spend it in hawaii, i wouldn’t be so eager to know.  but the pleading doesn’t stop and i can’t make it stop because i just don’t know.  at this point, the ticket prices are so crazy, the answer is still probably “no.”  but if really, i have nothing to do this summer but deal with the intense heat with them both at home, i may just have to find a way to make it happen.  but i can’t get around to that until i KNOW.

today is mother’s day back home, but it was yesterday for us here.  my mother in law was visiting, which was nice.  we’d never had a mother’s day with her.  she’s in korea for a bunch of stuff, mostly dealing with some property she has down in seoul, so it was really nice of her to come all the way down here for the weekend instead of us going to her.  it was different than any other mother’s day.

i wonder how it was for the other family’s on base.  i guess they had access to a decent brunch place and stuff, but being off post meant that nothing opened up (especially on a sunday) until noon or so.  so captain j was kind of lost.  his specialty was taking me out for a big breakfast brunch buffet, after he takes the kids out to play as soon as they got up (jun still gets up between 5:30 and 6 am) so that i can get an extra couple of hours and returns with flowers from a corner flower shop that’s of course been open since dawn.  here, taking the kids out that early wouldn’t be tolerated by our korean neighbors because of the noise that early, and there wouldn’t be any flower shops open.  he’d only gotten in the night before from a TDY so i don’t blame him for not thinking ahead.

poor guy.  he tried his best to keep them quiet.  when i got up and joined the family, the kids were already playing video games.  a usual huge no no.  he’d let them to keep them quiet.  and then, with empty hands, he kind of made this grand gesture and said “happy mother’s day!  kids, say happy mother’s day.”  the kids didn’t even look up from their unusual treat.  and then i made everyone breakfast because who else was going to make it?  (and no, captain j would not.  he SHOULD not.  and i don’t like cereal.)

but it was ok, because, i made these

and it was all good.

here, the day wasn’t just to celebrate mother’s though.  it’s called uh-buh-yi nal (literal translation: ma-fa day.  real meaning translation:  mother & father’s day or parent’s day.)  the whole weekend, practically was dedicated to parents.  so you went from children’s day on the 5th to a weekend of celebrating parents.  basically the whole city half shut down to enjoy celebrating each other.  how marvelous!

i had no idea this was coming and kind of watched it unfold with glee.  first, the amazing way that children were celebrated nearly brought me to tears, so much so that i wrote about it over at kimchi mamas.  then, because my mother in law was here, we were out and about where we saw lots of flower buying and huge groups of families moving in and out of restaurants.  news reports did stories on immigrants who were far from their families and encouraged kind citizens to remember those who didn’t have families around them.  It was kind of like thanksgiving, but people ate out.  i liked it!

my parents left our place to give my mother in law some space after spending a noon meal with her and they say they got swept up in it too.  as soon as they disembarked from the train on the seoul end, my cousins swooped in and off they went on a big family dinner extravaganza that lasted late into the night.  having been away for 40 plus years, they’d never experienced the full extent of uh-buh-yi-nal.  i think they liked it too.

koreans are smart, they get it done in one shebang.  this was our shebang.

enough ceramic korean dinnerware settings for a party of six.

love.

i’ve already moved the c.orelle/ikea/yardsale-find stuff i’d been using since college and am thoroughly enjoying these new dishes and bowls.  food seriously tastes better when it comes served in prettier vessels.  even ramyun.

(which six of the bowls i bought are specifically designed for — never imagined how much i needed perfect noodle bowls, but i did and i do!)

today i stepped on post for the first time since learning the news.  we live off post so we only go on when we have cause to.  today gracie had ballet then jun had t-ball practice after school.  in the halls and on the fields, as parents in uniform and out, prepared snack bags, dressed their kids in appropriate uniforms and shepherded their children to appropriate areas for their activities, they also spend moments talking quietly about the good news.

“Did you hear?”  “Can you believe it?”  “Never thought I’d see the day.”

and then it’s on to whatever moment is required next.  but there’s a an extra spring in people’s steps and a look of renewed hope and people go on their way.  It’s like suddenly we’ve reached a milestone we never knew we wanted to reach in this struggle and now we hope that the view on the other side will show a slope down to an easier path.

but we’ve been in this game long enough to know what’s up.  people seem to think something is over or something.  but more than likely his death was more symbolic and it actually won’t change things much.  even if it is over, it’ll be over slowly.  and anyway, life will go on with our families finishing posts and assignments as planned.  steady as she goes.

so when i finally learned through various facebook posts and a fellow kimchi sister’s thought provoking blog post of the partying going on at various places in the US, such as at the white house, it made me scratch my head.  what was that all about?

i don’t know.  i can’t speak for all military members or spouses.  but my opinion is that i believe that most of us would probably not choose to boast about our successes so loudly.  it’s one of the first lessons you learn when you enter military life — and continue to learn.  don’t flaunt your rank, don’t talk about operation details even when they’re kinda cool and support each other in quiet unannounced ways.  so loudly rejoicing death, even an enemy’s, doesn’t fit the profile of the people i’ve seen in the military community.

what i do know is that it’s been quiet around here.  But that doesn’t mean that we are any less proud of our service men and women.  i would usually never says this, as we are an Army family but——  Go Navy!

on rainy days, obviously we stay in.  it wasn’t actually that obvious to us at first because rain can be kinda warm and nice for the most part in hawaii so it’s not necessarily a deal breaker when it comes to outdoor activities.  walking in the rain was actually a really fun and popular outdoor activity with us.  but here the rain is lots colder and wetter and um, dirtier — what with all the pollution and radiation and yellow sand.  so we stay out of the rain.  rain means staying in and busting out the board games, video games and tea sets.  cool.

we experienced bitter cold too.  i thought snow days would just mean staying in, but windy cold days meant staying in simply because it was miserable to go outside at all unless you were quickly running into the car or into another building.  so pretty much all of december to february was staying in.  never mind the several snow days we had, which i hear was phenomenal for these parts where it maybe snows one or two days out of the whole year.  it actually snowed at least 10 times, and then there was the GREAT snow where it got to 2ft and people had no idea what to do.  so.  we stayed in a lot.

and then this summer there was the searing heat.  you couldn’t escape it anywhere outside.  stepping outside into the hot humidity was like stepping into a hot sauna.  the moist hot air enveloped you and you could feel it pile on layer by layer the longer you stayed outside.  which meant that during really bad hot days we’d stay in where we could turn on fans and air conditioning and eat ice pops while watching things about the north pole on tv to try and cool off.  lots of korean kids and families did come pouring out into the parks and playgrounds on summer nights though– i did notice.  we’ll see if we do the same this year.  last year we were fairly new and the large crowds felt overwhelming, but maybe now we can add to the fun.

and finally, during the spring, when i thought we’d have a string of uninterrupted days when we’d be out and about, we get to find out about yellow sand days.  apparently, big dust clouds of yellow sand blow up over from china and cause the air to get so thick with the stuff that it’s dangerous for us to get outside and do activities when levels are up.  i guess spring means that i will have to watch yellow sand levels and keep the kids in if it goes above a certain level.  thus, more days in.

geez.  seriously, who knew?  who knew i’d have to figure out what to do with the kids all day at home, in the apartment for so many days out of the year?  who knew i was such an out and about girl with the kids? not complaining.  just observing.

also, no word yet on the job front.  just in case you were wondering.

over soft tacos with fake cheese, we talked about having sleep-over-pals (SOPs) someday.  we missed having time with just each other but knew realistically that it wasn’t the time or place to have romantic getaways together, nor do we want to right now.  still, we’d like to some day.  so we talk about a plan i concocted in hopes of making that happen a little faster and a little more often in the near future when we move back home and get a little more settled.

so the plan is to have SOPs.  friends with kids that our kids play well with.  friends who we get along with too.  friends who we trust to take care of our children all night and who would trust their kids to us during reciprocal sleep overs at our house.  then we adult couples could take turns having nights off, if you will.  now, imagine if you had multiple SOPs!  is this not genius?  or has everyone else with sleep over age children already figured this out?

as i was plotting how i’d scope out and make such perfect SOPs while sipping on my icy cold coca cola, captain j finally leaned over and brought me back to reality by asking “and which of these amazing people with their amazing kids you are going to try and befriend are going to want to send their kids to sleep in the same room with our kids all night?”  i stopped mid-sip for just a second as i watched gracie (jun was safely running amok on the playground at school) dunk her soft taco tortilla into her fruit punch and then squeeze it out while laughing wildly before i told him “well, they might not be sure at first, but i’ll have to sell the parents on the point that i’ll feed their kids healthy and organic but tasty food made from scratch while they are with us.  i’m willing to do that for our nights off on the other end.  plus we will make sure that we always have the latest W.ii game.”  and then we went back to eating lunch.  but it wasn’t so fun to talk about it anymore.  captain j is a party pooper.

i get an email around lunch-ish yesterday afternoon informing me that jun has bitten another child during the recess after lunch.  the email informed me that the principal had talked to him and i didn’t need to come get him or anything, especially since he was behaving well since the incident.  i had to wait until the end of the school day to get the full story.

ha.  and if you know anything about five years olds, that’s not really a realistic expectation.  or maybe that’s just my five year old.  he says he was a cat who bit his owner in pretend play.  and then he said he was a person who bit his friend because his friend had his hand over his mouth and face and wouldn’t take it away.  and then he said he was a person who transformed into a cat and then proceeded to describe the cat in great detail.  that’s the story i got.

in any case, he seemed sorry.  but not as sorry as me.  you see, the mother of the boy that he bit happens to also be a facebook friend, a local acquaintance and a possible blog reader (hi K.)  so she’s been possibly reading ALL about how jun’s been all normalfied and pacified and stuff.  she’s also probably been reading about his past with horror because she literally has the two most well behaved kids in the whole wide world.  i am not making this up.  her child is always perfectly dressed, speaks respectfully, prefers board games over video games, has been star student in class multiple times, speaks korean and english fluently (jun’s korean is very halting and his vocabulary needs help.) and is cute as a button to boot.  as an example, at a recent children’s day event thingy on post, complete with face painting and bouncy houses, my kids sat on the ground barely eating their hot dogs while they wildly spazzed their limbs about asking every five seconds whether they could finally be released to go back to playing or have some more candy.  her children ate their hot dogs and chips at a table quietly while having a family conversation. then when K said “let’s go home guys.” they got up and left with her without one single whine.  gracie kicked and screamed all the way to the car when we left.

after i found out who the bitten child was (the school didn’t tell me, but jun did.  unfortunately, it sounded like the injury really hurt.  no broken skin, but jun had left a mark.  ouch.  sorry K.) i felt all the wind go out of my sails.  in one second i lost sight of how far we’d come and all i could see and feel was how inadequate i was.  how korean of me right?  to let my child’s action affect me so.

i moped around and got snippy with the kids for a bit before i realized that i needed to get a handle on myself.  K may now judge me and my parenting skills, but who is to say she’s not been judging me all along?  i probably would have if i had her kids and she had mine.  but then again, maybe there is something to judge because maybe she is doing something right and i am doing something not so right.

i’m doing the best i know how.  at the end of the day, i’d probably go at it the same way again in light of our goals and the personalities i was given.  just gotta keep on swimming, swimming, swimming….

how do i know i’m bored?  or at least that there’s a little more breathing room in life again?  i’m definitely on facebook more, i run out of stuff to watch on my tivo queue and most of all i think about babies.  not just crawling toddling babies, but having one in my tummy.  but that’s a dangerous crazy place for my brain to go.  i CAN’T go there again.  but lately my thoughts have been going there a lot.  the evil horned one sits on my shoulder and whispers “just one more?” into my ear and i can’t help but daydream about those warm moments when i hold the sweet smelling bundle.

But NO.  i must not got there.  why? you may ask.  i will list them for you and you will see that there are lots of reasons why.

1.  with jun i had an emergency c-section.  with gracie i had a crash c-section due to a complete placental abruption.  i fear what this progression will bring next.  both birth experiences were pretty traumatic enough to make me definitely think twice about risking it.  this is probably the number one factor for me considering the fact that the last time with my blood literally all over the OR floor (enough for the doctors to be sloshing through) i wondered if i would be alive to raise my kidsters.  during a third pregnancy i’d be completely stressed out as the big day approached.

2.  i’m finally on the cusp of maybe, possibly gaining some ground on actually getting somewhere with something called a career and maybe wear some nice clothes to a nice place called an office and do some important stuff with copy machines and stuff.  with my inability to leave my babies with anyone else to raise during the day, this would definitely not happen for a long-er time.

3.  the plan is to eventually send our kidsters to private schools.  i know there are arguments to both sides, and i appreciate each parent’s decision to school their parents in public or private school or even in their home based on their convictions.  ours has led us to the private school option which we are prepared to pay for.  at least we think we can afford it for two if we have two incomes.  add a third child and we may have to draw straws or something and that doesn’t sound fun.

4.  ever since law school i get killer migraines that literally can take days away from me.  after ct scans, an mri, and various drugs, i’m finally one a combination of pills (one a take every night and a couple that i take at the first sign of pain) that now lets me live without collapsing under the pain.  i still get them but they don’t last long and i can still function during them.  another pregnancy would mean i’d have to give this up and endure the pain without the help of my “amazing pills” (it’s how i think of them!) again.  that wouldn’t be much fun either.

and not to forget the general fact that the reason i’m even thinking of babies in the first place right now is because things are finally good now.  we’re finally out of diapers (well, during the day), everyone’s able to feed themselves, the short people still need help bathing but that’s pretty easy too now that they need minimal support during the process and now a whole now sleep is a familiar friend again.  this return of my time and sanity to me is probably what’s making me feel crazy enough to want to do it all over again.  i must keep focused on the goal and escape this sand pit!

but still.  that top new fold in the baby neck smell is so intoxicating.  maybe just one more?

another reason why moving back home must come quickly.  so i can be around friends who are having and adopting the babies i can hold, sniff and give back all i want.  onward ho!  must not look back!